Davison & The Red Rubber Butt

I had read online that Davison Design will accept and follow up on Any invention idea submission…No matter how ridiculous.

So, I decided to to put this theory to the test…(mostly for my own amusement, I must admit.)

And here be the outcome:

Idea Submision Form-(this is exactly how I filled it out.)

Idea Name:  Red Rubber Butt

Idea description:  A big Red Rubber Butt that user can strap onto their bottom, allowing user to bounce around on his/her hiney.

What inspired you to come up with this idea? :  Well…I was just sitting around meditating and contemplating belly button lint when this idea came to me. (was also listening to The Beatles White album but I don’t blame the Beatles…or credit them for this.)

After filling this form out and sending it back to Davison, would you believe that I got a call from them three days later? (me neither-But I did.)

And here’s how that call went:

    —————————

Davison Rep. : “Hello, is this Maggie?”

Me: “yep”

Davison Rep. : “Well, Maggie, this is (let’s leave the poor guys name outta this). I’m a consultant with Davison idea invention. We recently received your idea submission form for the product you call the …uh…Red Rubber Butt. We’d like to discuss this idea with you and talk about how we can help you to get this product to consumers.”

Me : “Really? So you guys are Really interested in making the Red Rubber Butt?”

Davison Rep. : “Well, Ma’am that’s why we called.”

Me : “You can’t be serious…(giggle)”

Davison Rep. : “I take my job very seriously, Ma’am. Now let’s see…from your description…sounds like the Red Rubber Butt is some kind of toy? But I could also picture some practical uses for this product.”

Me : “NO!”

Davison Rep. : “Yes; For instance…toddlers. Small children who are just beginning to walk often fall and I think this product could help to protect them.”

Me : No! (laughing)

Davison Rep. : “…Or elderly people. My Grandmother has Alzheimers…”

Me : “So sorry to hear that.”

Davison Rep. : “Thank you…anyway, as i pictured your product , I could see it being used by elderly folks, such as my Grandmother, to protect them when they fall.”

Me : (laughing hysterically at the picture of Granny wearing a Big Red Rubber Butt)

Davison Rep : “Ma’am…”

Me : “You did not…You did not think that a Big Red Rubber Butt strapped onto an elderly person was a good idea! (more laughing)”

Davison Rep. : “Ma’am. Do you know someone with Alzheimers?”

Me : “No I don’t. But it is a terrible disease.”

Davison Rep. : “Yes it is and I don’t find it funny.”

Me : “Oh I don’t find Alzheimers funny either. I’m just thinking that the Last thing someone suffering from Alzheimers needs is to endure the humiliation of having some asshole strap a huge Red Rubber Butt on them!’ (more laughing)”

Davison Rep. : “Ma’am, I really think you aren’t taking this conversation seriously.”

Me : “And I can’t believe You are.”

Davison Rep : (silence)

Me : “You know, I did some research online and it seems that your company has had many complaints.”

Davison Rep. : “Well, ma’am- I’m sure that you can look up Any company online and find complaints.”

Me : “Oh, that’s probably true. Didn’t Davison lose a big lawsuit though?”

Davison Rep. : “Yes…”

Me : “Tell you what, could I just research a bit more and call you back?”

Davison Rep. : “No.”

Me : “You can’t give me a number to call you back?”

Davison Rep. : “No. I can not.”

Me : “Why not? I’d like to investigate a bit further before I invest any money in Davison and the Red Rubber Butt.”

Davison Rep. : “Have I asked you for any money? I called to talk to you about your idea. Have I asked you for a penny?”

Me : “No, not yet…but that Is how you guys work here, right? You’ll eventually need me to invest money into the production of this thing, right?”

Davison Rep. : “Well…I can see that you are just too busy doing research on Davison to talk about your product idea.”

Me : “Sorry, but it is wise to do some research before investing. Now, if you can give me a number I’ll call you back.”

Davison Rep. : “No.”

Me : “Well…that’s unfortunte.”

Davison Rep. : “Have a good day ma’am!…(click)”

    ——————————

Well…there went my chance to make Millions selling The Red Rubber Butt to elderly folk across the world.

Sigh…see how i sabotage myself.

 I blew it….damn!

*********************************

Thanks for reading my blog.

TheSellerDoor

Victim Man

 Ok men…I’ma gonna help you out.  Just because I like you.

All in all you’re a marvelous gender…But I think Some of you have been OverFeminized by our fucked up society. As a result,  You, your woman and your relationships are suffering.

You’ve been told it’s okay to cry. You’ve been told it’s healthy and normal.

Well…maybe it’s healthy…I’m really not sure about that. But I am sure that it’s not healthy for your relationship.

I’m gonna be honest. Cruelly honest. Most women do not want to be in a relationship with a Crybaby.

Now don’t get me wrong-There are times when it’s ok to cry. For instance-Death of a loved one-Severe bodily pain-Tears of joy are almost always ok.

But if you go blubbering every other week or bitching about how ‘Lifes not fair’ and ‘Look what They did to me’…lemme tell ya, It get’s old faster than you can imagine.

Hey, Do you enjoy the company of a whiney bitchy crybaby woman? Not for long, huh?

Men,  if you’ve fallen into this pattern of ‘Victim Man’ behavior, You’ve got to understand the type of woman this is going to attract.

Women who are attracted to ‘Victim Man’ are usually ‘Mother Women’- You know…the type. She wants to protect, nurture, comfort, shelter and feed. Sounds nice, Huh?

Well…maybe at first. But ‘Mother Woman’ expects to see results when she puts out all this nurturing comforting feeding and crap. Even Mothers have an end to their patience. After about a year or so…If you’re still a whiney little bitch, she starts to think either she’s a failure…or,  More likely,  you’re beyond help and a waste of her energy.

What does Mama lion do with the defective cub? She shoves him outta the pack.

Bye bye!

Did my best…You’re on your own!

So, don’t believe her if she’s saying…For the hundredth  time, “Oh, Honey, it’s ok. It’ll be alright.”

Because deep down she’s thinking, ‘Oh my god, Here we go again. He’s gonna cry about his Mama, his ex, his job or….what a Loser!’- Lemme tell ya again…It gets Old.

Forget what you’ve read or heard from our twisted society-They Lie-They are trying to feminize you.

We want our men strong!

We want leaders!

We want Heroes who can take on the stresses of life and handle them with ease and confidence!

We want The Man who can find it, fix it and call it Cool, Daddio!

We don’t want another child to raise…oops, I’ve said too much.

 

Um…Ok…Well…Rabbit, where’d you put the keys,  Girl?

 

*************************************************************************

 

TheSellerDoor

Paul is Dead (?!)

 This may be old news to some of you, If so… Ok,

but I wasn’t around yet in the 60’s, so I hadn’t heard this rumor until I stumbled across it on the God blessed internet.

Being a Beatles fan ( McCartney my fav. ) and also being that I tend to become facinated with conspiracy theories-I ended up pouring over countless sites and YouTube vids dedicated to the ‘Paul is Dead’ theory. For days and days I wrapped myself up in this horrific ( Yes, Horrific! ) bit of gossip.

I looked over all the Beatles’ album clues, the lyric clues, the incriminating pre-’66 vs. post-’66 photos of Paul and I must admit that these sites can be Terrifyingly convincing. I thought I had Never heard anything more absurd than this ‘Paul is dead’ rumor….but a few websites and YouTube videos later I am almost in tears. I am starting to buy in! I am starting to think to myself, ’ My God! It could be true!’

There are, no doubt, obvious *clues* on many albums- in the pictures and in the lyrics (turn me on dead man). 

It seems to me that some of these strange hints had to be intentionally placed on the albums. I’m not sure that they were placed there as clues to tell us that our Beloved Paul McCartney died. Could be The Beatles were just playing with the rumor…after all, they were very clever. Sure didn’t hurt album sales, in fact, It most likely boost album sales. Great marketing scheme-Eh?

Well, as convincing as these ‘Paul is Dead’ websites are-There are also lots of ‘Paul is Alive’ and ‘Paul’s not Dead’ websites that are equally convincing ( Thank The Good Lord!)

So, why is it that these conspiracy theories become so intriguing so absorbing?

Why are we So drawn to secrets, clues, mysteries? ~ Hmmm…That’s another mystery.

Is Paul McCartney dead? Was he replaced by a look alike named Billy?

I don’t know…furthermore, I don’t think I want to know. Sometimes ignorance Is bliss!

Long live Paul McCartney…(or Billy or William…or…whoever he is)

 

 

 

TheSellerDoor